Posts Tagged ‘Families’

A family holiday, or was it?

Holiday: A holiday is a day set aside by custom or by law in which normal activities, especially business or work, are to be suspended or reduced.

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Having just arrived home after an eventful few days ‘holidaying’ in Wales, I am currently sat with a much needed hot cup of tea and a large mountain of chocolate beside me, looking at the photos of our few days away. After the success of our last family holiday in France I was looking forward to another break away, and another chance to build more memories. Which technically, we did…but not in quite the same way, as the weekend was more of a comedy of errors than a restful break away. I shall start at the very beginning, and I apologise for what is rather a long, and possibly at times, rather rambling post…but I needed to get it all out! (skip to the end for my profound response to it all if you choose! ;-))

So…my husband was supposed to have the whole week off work before we were due to got I Wales onThursday, but as always in his line of business, there was some sort of ‘deal’ happening and he annoyingly needed to go into work on both Monday and Wednesday. Now I have to admit to not being too amused by this, however as there wasn’t really anything I could do I (mostly) kept my mouth shut. It did mean however, that as I had all three children to myself my brain wasn’t completely focused on the packing and by Wednesday night it still wasn’t done and we were due to leave by Thursday lunchtime. I don’t know what it’s like in your household, but generally here…I do ALL of the packing, partly because I’m a total control freak, and partly because my husband wouldn’t have a clue what to pack even if I asked him. Normally I’m very organised and in control of the packing (I do love a list!)…..however this time, I did it very quickly and I didn’t do it very well. (not a list in sight)

It quickly became apparent that I’d forgotten quite a few things. Never has the phrase I uttered as we were driving down the M4 and across the bridge ‘I’m sure I’ve forgotten something’ been more apt, for I had forgotten some quite vital things as you will discover as you read on…

We arrived at the cottage and let ourselves in as we’d been told it was unlocked. Small and quaint, but perfect for what we needed we were quite pleased! There was as strong smell of air freshners which turned out to be those stick things you put in a jar of smelling liquid, it took about five minutes for us all to start sneezing so I hid the offending freshener in the downstairs toilet. The smell stopped, but the sneezing didn’t….all sodding weekend. Fresh air was in order and we were just around the corner from the ‘Mountain Cafe,’ where there were apparently amazing views of the Brecon Beacons. Not today however, as just as we got back into the car to drive there the heavens opened. We found the centre, surrounded by mist and rain clouds and not a single pleasant view, and all ran inside. It was about four o’clock by now so we went to the cafe for a cuppa and cake. There was a nice softplay there, yet as always, my 17month old wanted to wander where he shouldn’t, which was on this occasion around the tables that weren’t being used and had chairs upside down on top of them. I asked my husband to get him (he was closer!) as I could foresee a nasty chair falling incident and got the reply, ‘he’s alright he’s just walking,’ and then, yes, you guessed it, two seconds later and the boy decided to pull a chair in top of his beautiful little head. Cue screaming, cue looks from everyone judging us for letting him walk there in the first place, cue me shouting ‘I told you so,’ and everyone feeling slightly awkward. Thankfully the crying stopped and we could see there wasn’t much damage done to my little one, yet everyone else was left feeling a little bit tense.
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We went back to the cottage where were discovered that it really isn’t set up for small people. There were no stair gates, no secure fire guards next to the log fire, no high chair, hard corners everywhere, cleaning products in kitchen cupboards where the doors could be easily opened….I could go on. I take it for granted that at home, and the majority of other homes I’m in, that there are things put in place to make life easy, to keep children safe without you having to follow them around every single second of every minute. The toddler jammed his fingers in drawers, picked up firewood and got splinters, changed the channels (to no channel) on the tv, ran up the stairs and all sorts of other mischievous things…and that was with two of us watching him constantly! It was not relaxing AT ALL!

Thankfully he goes to bed at six and it was then I discovered the first of my packing errors…I had not packed a bottle, not one single bottle and he will currently not go to sleep without one at night…so this resulted in me having to do a very quick dash into Brecon hoping that the local supermarket sold bottles, which thankfully they did. I raced back to find a very overtired little boy, a rather stressed out Dad and that the majority of the lounge had been moved or altered in some way to make it a bit safer…for everyone!

The boys went to bed and the second of my packing f*** ups became apparent…I hadn’t packed the four year old’s blow up sleeping bag bed. No bed. FFS. Why couldn’t I have forgotten socks or toothpaste or things that weren’t really, really important? After a frantic search and brainstorm we found some cushions that are meant for the sun loungers that were outside. We found a spare duvet cover to use as a sheet and a lovely blanket for a cover. Sorted.

Wine was now in order and then I cooked dinner (priorities!) We had a relaxing evening in front of the tv and then went to bed. Day 1 done.

Day 2 was ok, we discovered a lovely farm and spent hours there feeding lambs, holding rabbits and chinchillas and watching spooky shows. The only things that weren’t perfect were that even after we’d ordered our lunch it didn’t appear, and when we asked it turned out that they’d lost our order and had to start again from scratch, cue three very hungry and grumpy children. Then the 17 month old walked into a (unpadded!!) metal bar in the toddler soft play area and added another bruise to his already colourful little face. Poor little chap, he is so accident prone at the moment and every time he falls over and hurts himself I feel soooo guilty. We spent most of the day there and then after the older two had completed a challenge and collected two pumpkins on the way out, we left.

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Back at the cottage the four year old suddenly went very pale and quiet and wasn’t himself at all. Thinking he was just worn out from the day we had early nights all round, however when he woke up on Saturday it was clear that he was poorly with a nasty high temperature. Turns out he picked a good day to make us all stay in as there was a storm outside. A massive, huge , horrible storm that was worse than we experienced last week in Bristol. Garden furniture was blown all over the place and the road outside became a river. Keeping our fingers crossed we didn’t have a power cut as there was only one candle in the cottage and no matches, we all huddled in the over crowded slightly unsafe lounge. I cooked a roast thinking that would cheer everyone up, but the toddler threw his on the floor and it wasn’t the happy family meal I’d envisaged with my husband and I having to take it in turns to look after him and eat our roast cold. I was in bed by seven that night as I was utterly exhausted.

And today, well today on the way home, we visited Caerphilly castle and froze our butts off walking around and exploring it for a few hours. Nice and fun…but freezing cold!!

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I’m not entirely sure what the point, moral or message of this post is (I usually like to have one) but I guess writing about it has helped me as blogging usually does…putting the last few days in perspective has taught me not to expect anything when there are children around (and that I need to think carefully and write lists when packing!) I’d imagined us all walking up the mountains or around the beautiful reservoirs of the Brecon Beacons (which we couldn’t have done anyway because I’d forgot the blimmin sling) I’d imagined cosy nights in, laughter, rest and relaxation and I guess I came home slightly disappointed that there wasn’t really any of this, and that sadly, this weekend, the errors and mishaps didn’t make us share laughter, or rest, or relax….they just served to frustrate and exhaust my husband and I even more.

Yet ask the children if they’ve had a great time and the reply would be a resounding ‘YES!!’ For them there wasn’t a forgotten bed, but an opportunity for an exciting sleepover in big sister’s bedroom on a brand new bed! There wasn’t a dangerous storm, but a thrilling show through the window of magical moving furniture and blowing leaves. There weren’t banged heads, but adventures and places that had been explored. There were new experiences, new memories being stored, new things done; and even though my husband and I have come back exhausted, the children have come back energised (apart from the slightly ill one) A change for them it seems, really is as good as a rest….
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Do you find family time away relaxing…or exhausting??

I’ve linked up with the lovely @PODcast ‘s What’s the Story? this week, luckily she let me tell this story with lots of photos! 😉


Building Memories

Memories: The mental faculty of retaining and recalling past experience. The act or an instance of remembering; recollection: spent the afternoon lost in memory. All that a person can remember. Something remembered: pleasant childhood memories.

Lives together,
Yet often apart.
Separated all day,
Joined by five hearts.

Goodbye in the morning,
Gone all the day.
Home-time, bedtime,
Sometimes away.

Holiday different,
Together at last.
Memories building,
Like my childhood past.

Same beach as then,
Twenty-five years on.
Father not here,
Fourteen years gone.

Memories built then,
Still vivid and clear.
Just like it was yesterday,
And he somehow near.

A family then,
When I was the child.
As the parent now,
New memories are filed.

Time away important,
A chance to rest.
Recharging spent batteries,
Time out with the best.

Laughter and love,
Five of us as one.
Living and loving,
Memorable fun.

Different culture,
Wonderful sights.
Days on the beach,
Long, lazy nights.

Precious time together,
My family, my world.
Breathing in new memories,
My heart forever will hold.

Prose for Thought

Spontaneous Magic

Spontaneous: Self generated; happening without any apparent external cause. He made a spontaneous offer of help. Done by one’s own free choice, or without planning, proceeding from natural feeling or native tendency without external constraint arising from a momentary impulse, controlled and directed internally, self-active. Random. Sudden, without warning.

For those of you that follow me on Twitter you’ll know that Thursday night I left my house unexpectedly. (don’t worry I returned, it was never going to be a permanent departure) I wasn’t supposed to be leaving the house, but I felt I wasn’t really given a choice. Stay and be a metaphorical punch bag, or leave and be on my own, but in all likeliness wet and cold because it was raining. Not a difficult decision to make. And so, it is last Thursday night that brings you this post and this week’s #magicmoment (You’re wondering how right now aren’t you?!)

So…there are five of us in this house and generally speaking it’s a lovely house, chaotic, but lovely. However, it is often only lovely because I’ve worked my sodding backside off to make it that way. It’s only lovely because I’ve facilitated everyone’s contentment and happiness. (Yes, yes I know, as a SAHM that’s my job, but it can,as we ALL know, be a bloody tough job) Things are lovely in our house because I know what everyone’s favourite meals are and cook them on a regular basis. I know when PE kits are needed, when teething needs sorting, when floors need vacuuming. The list is endless, but it sometimes seems as if it is invisible to those I live with. Maybe they think magical little fairies do the supermarket shopping, and busy little elves the cleaning. I wonder if they recognise the thought, and effort, and energy that goes into the running of this house. I know being a mum is about putting your babies first, and being a SAHM to me is about putting my family first, but I was beginning to wonder if it was too much to ask for a little something in return? Yes you’re right, my 10 month old is a little bit young be be going out and buying me flowers, but my 4 year old and 11 year old know how to say thank you. And my husband has been told on NUMEROUS occasions that a big bar of chocolate always helps if he can’t find the words.

So on Thursday night when my husband was in a grump because someone had cancelled his golf, The Masters, recording, and my 11 year old was in a grump because well, she’s 11 and that’s what they do, I decided to go out on my own. I didn’t really know where I was going I just knew I was going! I drove to M&S and bought some Colin the Caterpillar sweets and some Maltesers. (No, this was not my magic moment, but it was close!) It was whilst I was paying for these treats that my phone went, and on the line was my best friend, who (as I am still mostly anonymous on here) we shall call Cynthia. She is a woman who gets me, and always knows the right thing to do or say. She understands that I have good days and bad days. That I might not be feeling 100% all of the time. That sometimes I’M the one that needs looking after. She’s the one that my husband is so lucky to have around, because when he can’t sort me out, she does, every time! She suggested a spontaneous dinner out, and well, who was I to refuse?!

We drove to a lovely restaurant in Bristol and decided on tapas, and wine! We ate, we drank, we talked (well, mostly I talked) and we listened (alright yes, she did most of the listening!) I told her how it just seems that often how my day turns out, isn’t ever controlled by me. It’s controlled by hormones, and teething, and tantrums. It’s controlled but the stresses and demands of my husband’s job. It’s controlled by whether people I come across whilst out and about are having a good/bad day. It’s controlled by so many things other than me. Things that to a certain degree I can’t control. And it was whilst discussing this that she reminded me of my weakness with control. I am, it is fair to say, a bit of a control freak. I like to be in control. I like to know what’s what. Maybe that’s why I go out of my way to ensure everyone is happy, and run the house the way I do? Maybe I needed to let go of a bit of control, which without realising I’d actually done by leaving the house! It was a wake up call, and a taa daa #magicmoment. I needed to let go, not try and be perfect at everything, not try and have the perfect life, be the perfect wife and perfect mother. It doesn’t do anyone any good, least of all me!

The whole evening was magic, having spontaneous time with the woman I love like a sister was magic. The fact that she’d once again sorted me out and stopped me being an irrational, emotional wreck was magic!

And the magic continued when I got home. I think a few people had been shocked that I’d actually gone out and done something for myself. The dishes were done, my daughter told me she loved me and the next day my husband came home and gave me….some chocolate, magic!!