Insomnia: Insomnia, or sleeplessness, is a sleep disorder in which there is an inability to fall asleep or to stay asleep as long as desired.

Darkness, silence,
Yet my brain screams noise.
Thoughts, words,
Never quiet.

Breathing becomes quicker,
Shoulders hunched.
Uncomfortable, restless.
Eyes wide open.

Anxiety awakens,
Panic begins.
Thoughts whirl, never stopping.
Heart beats out of time.

Stare at the ceiling,
Stare at the walls,
Need an escape,
Need rest, peace.

Tears well in my eyes,
Frustration, anger,
Inconsolable, wound up,
Tense, awkward.

Give up, get up.
Alone in the dark.
Peaceful house,
Hectic mind.

Brain at war with body,
Eventually shuts down.
Restless sleep,
Wake exhausted.

Trudge through the day,
Maybe tonight,
Sleep will greet me,
like an old friend.

Bags: A bag (also known regionally as a sack) is a common tool in the form of a non-rigid container. The use of bags predates recorded history, with the earliest bags being no more than lengths of animal skin or woven plant fibers, folded up at the edges and secured in that shape with strings of the same material.

Oh what a brilliant quote, and there couldn’t be a better way to start this review than with this quote as Mia Tui bags are without doubt both classy and fabulous!

I first discovered Mia Tui, through Twitter, last year in November. I was becoming increasingly frustrated with the baby changing bag I had (I won’t tell you the name, but it wasn’t cheap) as I could never find anything and it didn’t open wide enough for me to even have a proper look. It drove me nuts that every time I needed something, I had to empty the entire bag out onto the floor (not great when you’ve a young baby with you) and don’t get me started on the amount of times I lost my keys in the depths of it. So, when I saw Mia Tui advertising their bags I instantly wanted one. Their unique and award winning interiors make it impossible to lose anything! There is a place for everything, and their range of stylish bags will suit everyone for every occasion. Baby changing bag, work bag, gym bag…their uses are endless.

I quickly persuaded my husband to purchase the Minnie Amelie in steel blue (gorgeous colour) as my Christmas present. A smaller version of their signature Amelie bag, this bag can be can be used as a changing bag, travel or work bag. Waterproof inside and out with multiple pockets, clips and extra clear bags (great when travelling) meant it was perfect as changing bag for me and I never lost my keys again!

I then visited The Baby Show and met the lovely Charlotte, who is the genius behind Mia Tui, in person. She was lovely and so helpful and there was such an amazing offer on that I ended up going home with two more Mia Tui bags…an Amelie which is now used as our family swimming bag, and a Sofia which is my work bag with enough space for notebooks, my iPad, pens, lunch and so much more!

Now…you’d think I’d be happy with my Mia Tui stash of bags wouldn’t you?! But no…ever since I first discovered them I had had my eye on the Grace. I loved the fact that it had the option of it being a cross-body satchel or a more traditional under the arm handbag. And with my youngest being a toddler I didn’t need to carry quite so much stuff out and about with me on a daily basis so was looking for a smaller bag. So I tweeted Charlotte and asked if she’d like me to review one…the next day the bag arrived and it is amazing!

The sand colour is so stylish and people ask me all of the time where I got my bag from…many of my friends have gone home to purchase their own after seeing mine! The interior is spacious and the layout makes everything so easy to find.

The clear bags are big enough for me to put in a few nappies and a packet of wipes and the bag has plenty of space for spare toddler clothes and snacks. My Mia Tui purse (yes I have one of those too!) fits in perfectly and the small clutch bag that comes with it is perfect for my, erm lady things. I love bags that have zip closures so everything can’t fall out and so this fitted the bill there too. It has the elastic clip for my keys so I can reach in with my toddler-free arm and find them in no time. Quite simply I love it, it really is functional and stylish…and fabulous!

So now wherever I go I take a Mia Tui bag with me…and more often than not, more than one!

This competition is now closed.

Oh today gorgeous readers do I have something exciting for you on my blog…a competition! My first one!

So…are you pregnant? Do you have a baby, two babies, toddlers?! Do you want to go somewhere where there are many amazing products and brands (including BRITAX) all under one roof? If the answer to any of those questions is yes then you will love this competition….

Taking place from the 25th -27th October at Kensington Olympia, The Baby Show is the UK’s leading pregnancy and parenting event. There will be hundreds of stands, which will feature anything and everything baby and toddler-focused – from quirky new inventions to showcases from all your favourite nursery brands.

There will also be hourly guest speakers including Jo Tantum, feeding and nutrition expert Annabel Karmel, and parenting guru Sir Robert Winston. With giveaways and special offers galore, make sure you don’t miss out!

To celebrate BRITAX’s continued involvement with the Baby Show, I’m really excited to be able to give away a pair of tickets to the next Baby Show in October! BRITAX’s stall will be stocked with all the latest BRITAX and BOB products including DUALFIX, XTENSAFIX, KIDFIX XP SICT and the B-MOTION 4, with experts on hand to explain the latest technology and take you through all the car seats and strollers on offer.

The tickets entitle you and a friend to full access at the Kensington Olympia Baby Show on a day of your choice. Little ones get free entry so they’re more than welcome to come along too!

I went last year with my sister-in-law and we had the most amazing day and came home with lots of wonderful things. It was good to be able to test products out and speak to people in the know about so many different items.

If you’d like to enter then please, use the Rafflecopter form below! Good luck! 🙂 T&Cs apply.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

This competition is brought to you as part of the BRITAX Mumbassador programme.

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Advice: Advice (noun) or advise (verb) may refer to: Advice (opinion), an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct. Advice column, a regular feature on a website or in a newspaper or magazine. Academic advising, in academics. Legal advice, the giving of a formal and binding opinion regarding the substance or procedure of the law

I did something today that made me look very closely at my blog. And when I looked closely at my blog I saw many different things. I saw posts about parenting; trusting our instincts; poetry; reviews; recipes…and the list goes on. When I originally started blogging it was to spread the word about trusting our instincts as parents and how powerful they can be (something I am still very passionate about) and then over time my blog evolved, as all things do, and as I joined in different linkies and made new blogging friends the content changed. I found a new love for writing poetry; I found writing about postnatal depression helped both me and others and I became obsessed with taking the perfect photo for Silent Sunday.

I have been thinking about the content of my blog for a while now and my instincts are telling me that maybe there are too many different types of posts on there. That maybe I have weakened my voice and original intentions through taking on too many other things? I still have many Instinctive Mum tales to tell and blog about, and whilst I have loved linking to poetry, weightloss and cooking blogs, I am wondering if it is time to get the focus back on the original thought behind my blog.

So lovely readers, the more I thought about this the more I thought about you! And I quickly came to the conclusion that the obvious thing seemed to be to ask you what you think! Do you think there is too much variety on my blog? Or do you like all of the different types of posts? What would you like to see more/less of? What topics would you like me to write about? For I blog not just for me, but for you too.

Let me know what you think, after all content is so important…I want to get it just right! 😉

Wish: A wish is a hope or desire for something. Fictionally, wishes can be used as plot devices. In folklore, opportunities for “making a wish” or for wishes to “come true” or “be granted” are themes that are sometimes used.

So if you’ve followed me on Twitter today you’ll know I’ve had a bad day, well afternoon really. And what does a blogger do when they’ve had a bad day…why blog all about it of course!

A few things that have happened recently have got me thinking (yes I do do that every now and again) and have made me realise how fragile my mental state can still be at times. It’s hard once you’ve suffered from depression (well it is for me anyway) to not think it’s always hovering not far away ready to come back and bite you on the ass. I forget sometimes that life with three children is going to be busy, stressful and hard work and that things are not always going to happen how I’d like them too or when I’d like them to. And I need constant reminding that I don’t necessarily feel overwhelmed because I’m depressed again, but simply because it’s life; and good days are often intermingled with bad ones. We all have them. I guess for me maybe the trick is to recognise that this is exactly what they are…just bad days, not a bad life. And sometimes even though those bad days do all appear to happen at once, hence the phrase ‘never rains but it pours,’ the good days are still there too, if not a bit few and far between at times.

Recently I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and a bit anxious again and it has got me worried I’m sinking back into the treacle I spent so much of last year trudging through. But if I look closely there have been so many reasons for me feeling out of sorts, not just PND…there has been a sickness bug in the house, my middle child has started school and routine is all out if the window thanks to a ridiculously long settling in period, my husband has had to work long hours and be away, my mum has been abroad, (this always unnerves me, I like it when she’s here even though she lives two hours away) it was my dad’s (who sadly passed away when I was 22) birthday last week, my 12 year old has been beyond hormonal and challenging, the toddler never ever sleeps (slight exaggeration!) and the weather has turned to pants to name just a few things. I know these things aren’t life threatening stuff. I know these things are not end of the world stuff and I know that these things are just stuff. Stuff that on a good day I can embrace with the fact that my life is never dull. Stuff that we all experience. But it is stuff that at the moment is slowly wearing me down and making me tired and emotional.

We all know parenting is relentless. The challenges and difficulties you face at one stage disappear only for a million other challenges to rear their ugly head. It’s never easy, the goalposts constantly change and a whole load of new crap comes our way. And yes I waffle on about instinctively we’re supposed to know how to deal with all of these challenges, and when I’m well and feeling rational my instincts do guide the way and I marvel at them all the time. But on days like today I’ll be honest, even I doubt them, even I doubt myself…and I hate self doubt. Deep down I know I can’t control my daughter’s hormones, just guide her through them. Deep down I know my toddler’s sleeping issues are not because of something I’ve done and that I have to be patient and know that this is how things are at the moment. Deep down I know I’m not ill again and my instincts are as strong as they ever were. But when I’m having a bad day all of that goes out of the window. I feel trapped. I feel useless. I desperately crave a break and a bit of time out. All it usually takes is half an hour. Time to say…let it all out in a blog post…and then I feel better. But sometimes it takes more than that. It needs a day away from it all and I’m starting to recognise when I need these days the most.

A while ago I wrote a blog post about a letter I had written to myself with wishes and hopes for the future and I thought that maybe it was time to write another one. I’m a firm believer in having things to look forward to, plus I’m a list lover, so writing a letter detailing all of the things I’d love for myself and my family in the near future seemed like a productive way of working through my current not-so-great-mood. It goes as follows…

1. A date night with my husband. Oh this is a big one on my list. We still have not had an evening or a night to ourselves since February. Lack of a babysitter seems to be the main problem. When you’ve got three children it can (shock horror) put some people off babysitting. And with the toddler not sleeping too great I’d probably worry he was being troublesome whilst we were out. But nevertheless my husband and I need some time so I need to make it happen.
2. A mother/daughter evening…or several! These have really worked wonders in the past and made our, at times tested, relationship stronger. Sometimes I forget that she had me all to herself for so long and that living in a step-family situation possibly isn’t always easy on her. It’s good for us to have some time together.
3. A day for me. To just be me and not a mum and all of the things that brings with it. I’d love to go to a spa, or sit in a cafe all day writing, or go for a swim where I can actually swim. You get the idea. I’d just, selfishly, like a ‘day off.’
4. Family walks and Sunday roasts. We got into the habit when I was ill with PND of not venturing out too far. Of just going for lunch and then coming home again with the excuse that the baby needed to nap. I love autumn and the run up to Christmas and have very fond memories of family walks as a child. collecting conkers and jumping in piles of fallen leaves. So I’ve joined the National Trust and would like to go on many a winter walk, coming home to cook a wonderfully warming roast. Thankfully the rest of the family would like to do this too! 😉
5. Self-publish A Monster Ate My Mum. This excites me…a lot! So far I have asked the wonderful Helen Braid to do the artwork for me and the sample pages have brought tears to my eyes they are so perfect. I have no idea how to go about self-publishing, but hopefully I will learn as I go through the process and the poem will be brought to life.

So that’s my list for now. I think it’s only fair to stop at five things for fear of writing down too much and becoming disappointed when they are not all achieved. The things I have written above are all achievable (I hope!) and would benefit more people than just me…so watch this space and hopefully, fingers crossed, I will be writing a blog post at Christmas telling you all about it!

What would be on your wish list for the next few months?

Confused by car seats? Mark Bennett, car seat safety expert from BRITAX explains the new regulation called ‘i-Size’ that all parents should know about

To put simply, i-Size is a new regulation for child car seats that will make it easier for parents to choose and install the right seat, making travelling safer for children.
One of the most significant changes parents need to be aware of, is how long a child should remain in a rearward facing car seat. Under existing laws, parents could switch their baby from their rearward facing Group 0/0+ seat into a forward facing Group 1 seat when they reached 9kg or approximately nine months.
The new i-Size regulation means parents will have to keep their baby rearward facing until they are at least 15 months old and the move will be based on the size and age of the child rather than weight. The new length and age classification will help make it easier for parents to check that their child is ready to be moved to the next stage car seat.
The new regulation is also about the reinforcement of ISOFIX seats use, which are easier to fit correctly and safely than those secured with the car seat belt. Only a third of belted seats are fitted correctly which can have serious implications in the event of a crash*. Side impact collisions are one of the most severe types of collisions on the roads** and for car seats to adhere to the new regulations they must pass the newly introduced side impact safety standards.

Why is this regulation coming into force? Well there are a number of reasons, but in a nutshell, parents are too keen to move their babies forward facing on the premise they believe their child will be happier facing forwards rather than waiting until they have actually outgrown the seat. Parents are also unaware babies are much safer rearward facing in the event of a collision.
Below 13kg a baby’s neck is not yet that strong and keeping your baby rearward facing for as long as possible (up to at least 15 months) will help protect their vulnerable neck in a frontal crash situation.
So much research evidence has built up on this from crash testing that the EU has introduced this new regulation to keep babies rearward facing until 15 months. BRITAX has accompanied and strongly supported the development of i-Size right from the very beginning.

So how does it affect you? As soon as i-Size approved car seats are on the market parents will be able to choose between a seat that abides by the older ECE R44/04 regulation or i-Size. The current ECE R44/04 regulation is not replaced by i-Size, and instead will continue in tandem until 2018. The introduction of i-Size simply means that consumers now have an extra option when buying a car seat for their baby/toddler.

When should you change to forward facing?
Here are some guidelines on switching:
Don’t do it just because your baby’s feet are pushed against the car’s back seat.
Wait until your baby is closer to, or ideally at, the maximum age (15 months) for her rearward facing seat than the minimum weight (9kg) for the front facing seat.
BUT do move them if their head is protruding over the top of the Group 0/0+ seat. If they outgrow the seat in height but have not reached the minimum weight for a Group 1 seat, you should then invest in a combination Group 0+ & 1 seat. That is simply the safest option.
You can already consider purchasing a combination Group 0+ & 1 seat as your baby’s first car seat from birth. DUALFIX and MAX-FIX from BRITAX will allow your child to travel rearward facing until they reach 18kg

What is the current law when it comes to car seat safety?
The law requires all children to travel in an appropriate child restraint until they reach 135 cm tall or their 12th birthday (UK, NL, DEN) or 150 cm tall or their 12th birthday (GER, AU, CH, IT, CZ) – whichever comes first. It is the driver’s responsibility to ensure this is the case.
Under the existing laws, parents could switch their baby from their rearward facing Group 0&0+ seat into a forward facing one when they reach 9kg (around nine months old).
Now the new regulations, called ‘i-Size’, have come into force mid-July 2013, parents that purchase a child car seat approved under i-Size will have to keep their baby in a rearward facing seat until they are 15 months.
There will be no change to the overall law about child seats being compulsory to the age of 12 or 135 cm/150 cm tall.

This post was brought to you as part of the BRITAX Mumbassador programme.

Yoghurt: Yogurt or yoghurt or yoghourt (/ˈjoʊɡərt/ or /ˈjɒɡərt/; other spellings listed below) is a fermented milk product (soy milk, nut milks such as almond milk, and coconut milk can also be used) produced by bacterial fermentation of milk. The bacteria used to make yogurt are known as “yogurt cultures”.

Support British farmers; buy British; we’re all part of a family and very hands on; we do the right thing…these are some of the phrases that will forever stay with me when I think about Yeo Valley Farm or eat some of their fabulous yoghurt.

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to visit Yeo Valley HQ and go on the most wonderful farm tour. As soon as we walked into the building we were welcomed; as we walked down the ‘reasons to be cheerful’ corridor on our way to a cup of tea and some of the most delicious cakes I’ve eaten we were made to feel at home, and by the end of the day we felt like we had experienced a taste of what it feels like to be part of the wonderful, passionate family that makes up Yeo Valley.

I must admit that as I set off in the morning I didn’t know what to expect. I packed my welly boots thinking I’d be wading through mud and admiring cows from afar! The boots were not needed, but the cows were admired…both from afar and close up, including the most adorable Hereford cross bull calf born only the night before.

The tour started with a walk around some of the fields surrounding the farm, learning from the brilliant Les all about the geographical history of the landscape and how over time man has shaped the landscape whilst working in harmony with it.

We learnt about what it truly means to be organic and that Yeo Valley is an organisation that stretches across the South West, surrounding the M4 and M5 and employing around 1600 people. The views across the landscape from the fields were breathtaking and it was whilst we were all admiring them that we learnt something that none of us knew before…Yeo Valley yoghurt is the ONLY British owned and produced yoghurt on the market! It amazed us all that so much yoghurt is imported…we couldn’t fathom out why! We need to support British farmers more!

Lunch was eaten in one of the converted old redundant farm buildings. I ate far too much cheese (thank you for your portion Jenny Paulin!) and ended the meal with my favourite flavour of lemon curd yoghurt. Next were the gorgeous cows (never thought I’d say that about cows!) and we learnt about the different types of cows there are on the farm. That some are pregnant now, others dry for a short period of time and how the bulls fall into two categories…top studs who father the next generations and others sold on for beef. Everyone involved was very passionate when speaking about their work on the farm and you couldn’t help but become a bit passionate about it too!

Finally we were to end the tour with a trip on The Bedford which was so calming it nearly sent a few of us to sleep,in-spite of it being a bit of a bumpy ride!

Fields of red clover, fields of cows and one very lucky bull, fields of Miscanthus (an interesting fuel crop) and more gorgeous views passed us by before we returned to HQ for more tea and yummy cake.

I can honestly say that I was wowed by Yeo Valley, that I never expected to be so absorbed by everyone’s enthusiasm and love for what they do. At Yeo Valley they work hard to do the right thing and provide their customers with British, organic, delicious yoghurt. (of which I bought lots and lots in the staff shop!!) I had a truly wonderful day there and hope I’m invited back very soon. (hint hint!)

Thank you Yeo Valley!

These opinions are genuinely my own. I also received the fabulous Yeo Valley cookbook at the end of the day which I would highly recommend.

Pie: A pie is a baked dish which is usually made of a pastry dough casing that covers or completely contains a filling of various sweet or savoury ingredients.

Where has this week gone? Time once again to link up to the fab #greatbloggersbakeoff. At times this week has seemed like the longest week ever what with a poorly 15 month old and then me catching it too. The four year old had only been going to school from 1pm until 3pm daily as part of his ridiculously long settling in period and this hasn’t been easy not least because by the time I got home and put little one down for his much needed nap I was waking him up to go back to school all over again. We didn’t want to venture out too far in the mornings (nearly didn’t make it back in time on Tuesday) and so spent quite a lot of time feeling sorry for ourselves at home. Pie making was not top of my list of activities whilst my stomach was churning, but by Friday I was feeling better, had a brand new oven, and was ready to bake!

So without further ado (or unnecessary waffling on about my week) here is my recipe! It went down quite well at home and has sparked a debate as to whether it is a savoury or sweet pie. I wanted to drizzle balsamic vinegar over a rocket salad to accompany it and my husband wanted to slather it in cream. You can make your own mind up!

Apple, Stilton and Caramelised Walnut Pie

I started by making a basic shortcrust pastry…

Ingredients

250g plain flour
Pinch of salt
110g unsalted butter
2-3 tbsp cold water

Method

Put the flour and salt in a large bowl, add the butter and rub together with your fingertips until the mixture looks like fine breadcrumbs. (I love doing this, reminds me of baking with my mum when I was a child!) Next add the water a bit at a time until the dough binds together. Wrap in cling film and chill in the fridge for 10-15mins.

Whilst the pastry was relaxing in my fridge I made the filling…

Ingredients

6 apples (dessert if possible, mine were from the tree in my garden and they are a bit tart!)
150g walnuts
100g golden caster sugar
A good big wedge of Stilton (sorry I didn’t weigh it I just crumbled it all in!)

Method

Peel the apples and cut into large chunks. Place in a saucepan with 2tbsp of water and cook on a low heat for 5-10 minutes. (they need to retain their shape) Put the sugar in a saucepan with 100ml of cold water. Bring to the boil and let it boil vigorously for 10 minutes. Then remove from the heat, add the walnuts and stir. I will warn you at this point that you may worry you’ve ruined a perfectly good saucepan as it will harden and appear impossible to remove. So…I solved this ptential nightmare by using a wooden spoon (not in frustrated anger!) and bashed them a bit until they were all nice crushed up, then they came out of the saucepan with no problem! Roll out half of the pastry into a circle and place in a greased pie dish. Put the apples on top so they cover the whole of the bottom. Next sprinkle the crushed caramelised walnuts over the apples and finally crumble the Stilton over everything. (I’m tempted, if I make this again, to add another layer of apples, but didn’t this time) Roll out the remaining pastry and place over the pie cutting a hole in the top to let the steam out as it cooks. Sprinkle with water and caster sugar and then place in an oven at 180 degrees for 35 minutes or until the top is nice and brown! (took a while for mine, but that could’ve been because it was a new oven and I’m not yet confident with timings!)

And there you have it, not too tricky to make at all…and as you can see from the photos I went for the rustic look! I did toy with the idea of cutting out apple shaped pastry pieces to put on the top to make it look pretty, but didn’t have time this week.

Thank you, as always for reading and if you’d like to join in the link or read lots more yummy recipes then click on the badge below!

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