Technology Time Out

Time out: Noun: a pause from doing something (as work); “we took a 10-minute break”; “he took time out to recuperate.” respite, break, recess; pause – temporary inactivity.

There’s been a lot of talk on my Twitter and Facebook timelines about having some technology free time. A regular period of time where we are screen free; all technological gadgets and equipment turned off. It comes at an interesting time for me, as this weekend has seen several discussions between my husband and I about how much time we are spending on our phones and iPads. On Saturday I witnessed both of boys climbing up their father’s legs whilst he looked up something on the internet on his phone. I saw my daughter roll her eyes again as I picked up the iPad just to have a peek at Twitter. I saw us through my children eyes, and it did not make me feel good.

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Social networking, the internet, the television and more are all available 24 hours a day seven days a week and unless we switch them off they will not be silenced. We went out as a family to enjoy the sunshine yesterday morning and as I wondered around Victoria Park in Bath I observed a ridiculous number of parents looking at their phones whilst their children played and called out to them to ‘look’ and see what they were doing; and often when the parents did look it was through the lens of their phone’s camera – including me.

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Photos are extremely important, I love having an in depth record of my children’s lives so far – but I must admit I don’t sit and pour through photos of my childhood – everything is firmly imprinted in my mind, And I’d like the same to be true of remembering my children.

And what are we afraid of if we put our phones down? Missing an important call? Missing a mention or a tweet? Missing having access to the news and weather? Would it really harm us if we weren’t so accessible? If we switched off, zoned out and focused on what was happening right in front of our very eyes? Those messages will still be there hours later, but what is happening then and there will not.

I think that the thought of turning off our electronic devices panics many. But for my family, panic or not, it has become a necessity for us. We need to switch off. It’s all too easy to escape into a different world and shut out the real one. My children are growing up painfully quickly and I don’t want to miss a second. They deserve our time, our energy, our devotion…at all times!

So starting this week we are going to have technology time out. Daily from after school until the children go to bed. Then also at the weekend; phones and iPads will be switched off and put away. And family time will be family time. I think it may be quite refreshing…I’ll let you know how it goes!

What about you, do you think we all rely on technology too much and miss the world around us at times?

For the body I had, I will not weep.

This poem was inspired by a post by @ErickaWaller1 to whom I recently emailed a picture of my post baby stomach.

I earned this body,
It’s mine to keep.
For the body I had,
I will not weep.

Pert breasts were given,
these saggy ones were not,
I worked hard for them, I fed with them,
I miss the others not.

Stretch marks did not come in my youth,
Nor when I was a teen,
They marked my skin forevermore when my babies grew within.

My stomach once was beautifully flat,
Then three times a rounded dome.
Smooth and flawless skin outside,
Before inside became a home.

Darkness reigns beneath my eyes,
Puffed and wrinkled now for a while.
I love those lines for each one marks,
the times you’ve made me smile.

It’s where I grew you, where I first loved you,
Upon where you fell asleep,
For my old body, waiting to grow you,
I will not now nor ever weep.

Prose for Thought


MAD Blog Awards

Review of the BRITAX B-Motion 3

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As a mum of three children I’ve used a fair number of prams, pushchairs and strollers, and I think it’s very telling that each time I had a new baby I’ve had a new pram…for I’d never settled on one I absolutely loved above all others. I’ve had travel systems, lightweight strollers, four wheelers, three wheelers and everything in between. So after becoming a BRITAX Mumbassador, when they sent me an email asking me to review the new B-Motion 3 I literally jumped up and down on the spot. I didn’t like the pram I currently had – it was rickety didn’t feel sturdy and as a three wheeler would tip over at the slightest imbalance, – so I was very excited to be offered this fantastic review opportunity, and couldn’t wait for the delivery.

It came a few days later and I un-boxed it quickly.

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I was going to wait until all three of my children were asleep before assembling it as I wanted to concentrate fully…however, assembly was so ridiculously easy I did it then and there. The instructions were clear and the parts fitted together like a dream…and off on the school run we went. The first thing I noticed was how secure and steady the B-Motion 3 felt. It was strong, robust and – unlike the pram I had been using – didn’t feel like it was going to tip over at all.

Over the last few weeks I have used the pram in many different places: on farms, in shops, fields, on pavements, mud…and have tested it thoroughly. Here is my list of positive things about the pram, and (only a couple) of minor things not so positive for me.

Things I love about the BRITAX B-Motion 3…

* SIMPLICITY: The ease with which this pram is put up and subsequently collapsed is brilliant. You can simply collapse it one-handed by just pressing a button on the side, lifting up the fabric handle in the middle and it’s neatly folded in half. And to put up, press one button and pull up on the handle bar. I’ve had elaborate affairs before that take all manner of wangling to get up and down – one pram my husband even refused to use because it was so complicated. This one, with it’s one handed pull-fold mechanism, is by far the simplest pram I’ve ever used.

*STURDINESS: This pushchair feels so secure when you push it. It’s strong and well built and I felt my toddler was extremely safe when placed in it. As a three wheeler it’s great to push and I’ve even (shock horror for those who know me) been running with it which was a dream. (shin splints aside) The lockable swivel front wheel is great if you do want to run or jog with the pushchair.

*SMOOTH: It really is a brilliant all-terrain pushchair. It travels over bumpy grounds and rides over grass and pavements with ease. When my toddler falls asleep in the B-Motion 3 (which is rare, but that’s down to him not the pushchair!) whatever the level of unevenness the ground throws at me the journey is always smooth and he stays asleep. Without doubt the superior rear suspension provides an extremely smooth ride, while the air-filled rubber wheels allow you to tackle any terrain.

*SIZE: The B-Motion 3 is not as bulky as other pushchairs I’ve had. It’s not as wide as other prams and pushchairs and can be easily manoeuvred around shops (no more knocking things off shelves or having to reverse out awkwardly!) and folds down flat and compact to fit easily in the boot of a car. Perfect!

*SUN-SHADE and STORAGE POCKET: The sunshade of the pushchair clicks into three different position offering various levels of shade, without totally encasing my toddler so he can still see the surroundings! It also has a little viewing hole so I can still see him, which is very useful. And the large storage pocket in the canopy, which hangs under the handlebar is genius; I put a couple of nappies, wipes and snacks in there so I’m never caught short!

Things I didn’t love about the BRITAX B-Motion 3…

* STORAGE: There is a lovely big basket under the pram to put shopping bags or anything else you might need, however sometimes I found it tricky putting things in there and had to approach it from the side, pulling down the net to do so as the bar at the back of the storage is very sturdy and doesn’t leave a lot of room to put things in.

*RAIN COVER: This one really applies to all rain covers, I find them bulky and not easy to transport around with any pram or pushchair and sadly this rain cover is the same. Unless it’s raining and the cover is in use it’s difficult to take anywhere with you as it doesn’t fold down well or fit in the storage easily.

*WEIGHT: Put simply, whilst this pram weighs only 11kg I’d didn’t think it was the lightest of prams (although equally it’s not the heaviest) and takes some effort for me to put in the boot of my car. This wouldn’t put me off having a B-Motion 3 at all though, as the positives far outweigh this minor issue for me.

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Overall I genuinely love this pushchair, it would seem like my quest to find the perfect one is well and truly over! My toddler is now 19 months, however this pushchair can be used from birth – Using the detachable CLICK & GO® adaptors, you can simply fit the BABY-SAFE infant carriers, BABY-SAFE Sleeper or carrycot directly onto the chassis to create your ideal travel system. B-MOTION also features a multi-position seat recline including a lay-flat mode, vital for newborns. I really would highly recommend the B-Motion 3.

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I received the B-Motion 3 for the purpose of this review as part of the BRITAX Mumbassador programme.

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Not enough time

Too much to do, so much undone,
Not enough time.
Want it all, to have it all,
Not enough time.

Gallop here, race there,
Not enough time.
Rush around, never stopping,
Not enough time.

Half done, a rubbish job,
Not enough time.
Never finished, rarely complete,
Not enough time.

Anxious and worried,
Not enough time.
Less than perfection,
Not enough time.

Give my all, give everything,
Not enough time.
Work so hard, constantly strive,
Not enough time.

Do my best, be the best,
Not enough time.
Expectations high, unrealistically so,
Not enough time.

Something must give,
Something must go.
But just what that is
I do not know.

Love my life,
Love everything that’s mine.
Want it all, but there’s,
Not enough time.

Prose for Thought

Can I really have it all?

Complete: having all the necessary or appropriate parts.

Warning: the following post is a complete outpouring of random thoughts…

Oh if only I could have it all and be complete…the world would be amazing! I’d have a size ten figure and eat chocolate. I’d have wine with no hangover. I’d have children yet spontaneity. The world would be my oyster. But can we, and by we I mean women, really ever truly have it all? Can I be a mother, a teacher and a blogger? Are there enough hours in the day; do I have the capacity and mental and physical energy to do all of these things to the very best of my ability, or does something inevitably have to give?

This week I went back to work, and even though it’s only been for two days it’s impacted on my life hugely. I’ve been dreaming about work, thinking about it when I’m not there and even – shock horror – doing some school work at home. I’ve not seen my children as much as I would normally and I feel distanced. I’ve not been on Twitter hardly at all and I feel removed from that too.

Before I went back to work I was happy and fulfilled. Being a full time mum was amazing, and blogging gave me the mental stimulation I craved. I wrote and published a book, I even made some money…and things were getting exciting. I was planning on organising a post natal depression awareness week…something that would take a huge amount of organisation, but is such an important thing to do. I was becoming involved in Team Honk and the fabulous bloggers relay across the land. I was developing my blog and writing more books (as yet unseen and unpublished.) It was exciting, I was excited, I loved it. And while I still can (and most definitely will) do all of those things, if I’m honest I’m already very anxious that I will not be able to dedicate as much time and energy to them as I would have when I wasn’t at work. Sometimes if you’re away from the world if Twitter just for one day you can miss so much, and the same is true of children. And I certainly don’t want to miss a single minute with them.

As I warned you at the beginning, this post really is a bit of an outpouring of thoughts and confused feelings at the moment and I appreciate it if you’re still reading. 😉

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t do anything by halves – my boss once said to me that no one could ever meet my expectations as I set them impossibly high, hence why I’m not great at job sharing – and I don’t want to do something unless I can give it my absolute all. Yet, if I try and maintain those expectations of myself, then all of the things I want in my life may not all be able to stay. Obviously I can’t give up my children…so what will go? I guess maybe, only time will tell and I’ll naturally gravitate to the things I am most passionate and enthusiastic about. But oh it would be so lovely if nothing had to give…if these emotions and anxieties were just all part of getting into a new routine, a new groove, and that in a few weeks I’ll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. Because of course I can have it all…I’m a woman aren’t I?! 😉

Have any of you felt like this? Can we have it all because if we can, I’d love to know how! 😉

What were the highs and lows of 2013?

Having recently had a bit of a blogging low (my stats are worse this month than they were in the first month I ever blogged…oops!) I was thinking about how I could do a post to look back at this year, and then this morning the lovely @kateonthinice tagged me to join in with this one. She’d answered these questions very honestly on her own blog and invited others to do the same on their’s…perfect I thought!

And so here are my answers…

1. What was your happiest event?

Oh where to start…publishing my book, attending wonderful blogging conferences and meeting fantastic new friends, recovering from post natal depression for the third time, my youngest starting to walk (and finally sleep through the night!) So many wonderful and happy events have happened this year, many of which if you’d asked me if they were possible at the start of 2013 I would have rolled my head back and laughed out loud in sheer wonder. But for me…the happiest event of 2013 was undoubtedly our family holiday to France. It was for two blissful weeks, the weather was stunning and the holiday magical. It will stay with me forever and has given me hope that it will be the first of many family holidays and opportunities to make some lifelong memories.

2. What was the saddest thing to happen?

Thankfully I have been very blessed this year and our family hasn’t been touched by sadness. I have often been saddened by what has happened to others however – I really do wish that good things happened to good people. It all seems so unfair at times.

3. What was the most unlikely thing to happen that actually went ahead and did?

Do you know I can’t think of anything in particular! Maybe I’m one of those people who has had so much thrown at them over the years that I’ve learnt to always expect the unexpected?! I guess I would have to say the fact that I self published my book has to be included in here – when I wrote the poem at the beginning of the year I never dreamt it would be what it is now and I am so excited for what it holds in the future. If you’d told me last January that by the end of the year I’d be a self-published author I’d have desperately wished for that to be true. Determination can get you so very far at times.

4. Who let you down?

If I’m honest I feel like my work have let me down. I’ve been at my current school for ten years and am about to return to work in January after extended maternity leave. I’ve been off for nearly two years and am incredibly apprehensive (and reluctant) to return to work next year, and sadly no-one at work has really helped with this. I’m entitled to ten keeping in touch days yet – despite many efforts to have them – I’ve been given none. No-one can fully tell me what my role will be (I do know I’m not class based) and I’ve been told there isn’t actually anywhere for me to work. I’ve also been told, several times, that once I’m back it’ll be like I’ve never left and not to worry, but the reality is that I’m not back yet and I am worried. Colleagues haven’t been in touch as much as I thought and although I know everyone is busy (me included) I feel a bit let down and uneasy about it all. Unsurprisingly I’ve blogged about it, will be live on Friday 😉

5. Who supported you?

So many wonderful people, some of whom I’ve never even met. This year, especially at the beginning, I needed a lot of support. My best friend, who is still adopting the fake name of Cynthia on my blog, has been utterly amazing. She is a tremendous support and I genuinely do not know what on earth I would do without her, she is pure gold. My husband has also been brilliant, he bears the brunt of my irritations, frustrations and generally unreasonableness and yet he is still here and still understanding, empathetic and fantastically tolerant. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not perfect, but he’s pretty damn close!

I am so very lucky to have so many wonderful friends in real life, and some totally amazing friends in the virtual world too. So so so so many brilliant people have supported me and my book, ‘A Monster Ate My Mum.’ I cannot mention them all by name for fear of missing someone out, but you ALL know who you are. For all of the retweets, reviews, help with self publishing, commenting on my blog posts, buying my book, spreading the word and so much more – you are all AMAZING and I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. And thank you forever to Helen Braid for the beautiful illustrations that brought the book to life.

6. Tell us what you learned.

I learned not to take everything so seriously.
I learned that accidents really can happen in the most unexpected simple of places, and to allow my children to be more adventurous instead of holding them back because of my own fears.
I’ve learnt that I am far more competitive and determined than I ever thought possible.
I’ve learnt to appreciate every little thing.
I’ve learnt not to put so much pressure on myself.
I’ve learnt that I am never going to be a size 10 again as life is too short and food is too good.

7. Tell us what made you laugh.

The beautiful and funny things my children have said.
Hilarious conversations during nights out with wonderful friends.
@Ladyemsy who never fails to make me smile.
Spending time with my mum, there is always at least one moment when we are both rolling around in laughter together.

8. Tell us the things that made you cry.

Reading about the tragic deaths of three women who were suffering from post natal depression.
Hitting the publish button and seeing my book became reality.
Watching my friends heart break and seeing her totally broken.
Reading many moving blog posts.
Watching The Time Traveller’s Wife. (seriously, I cried for like hours!)

9. Tell us three things your child or children did to make you feel proud.

1.) My middle child started school and embraced every second of it. A slightly nervous child, he was so tremendously brave and just went for it. During his first ever performance at the Harvest Festival I was proud he even made it onto the stage, even though he didn’t sing a single word. And then at the Christmas show when he sung at the top of his voice…smiling throughout the entire performance! Magic!
2.) Receiving wonderful feedback for my daughter’s teachers about her attitude and determination at school has made me incredibly proud. She may be challenging at home, but at school it seems she is thriving and the positive, fantastic reports keep coming.
3.) And the there is my youngest who is just awesome. Am proud of him settling into nursery and loving it. Am proud of him becoming a wonderfully social and amusing boy. Proud for all of the things he’s yet to experience and achieve for I know he will be cheeky and loveable all the way.

10. Tell us the things that made you proud of yourself.

Um have I mentioned that I self published a book this year? Or that I beat PND for the third time? It’s not often I’m proud of myself but I really am because of those two things. It’s restored a lot of faith in myself that I never knew I had!

11. Tell the challenges you overcame.

Being a mum to three children, and with a tween as one of them, is in itself a challenge….but it’s the kind of challenge I really love!

12. Tell us the things you would like to change about your life in 2014.

Um well I’d like to write many more books, maybe one on post natal depression for those suffering, or from the viewpoint of a father who has suffered, or about supporting those with PND. I’d also love to write more children’s books too, and my InstinctiveMum book…oh and so many more. In fairness I think it’s quite obvious that I’d really like to leave teaching and write…but I know I have a VERY long way to go before this can become a reality. That doesn’t mean it can’t though….

I’ve probably forgotten to include a million and one things that happened to me this year and am slightly worried that I can only think of four reasons as to why I laughed when I know there are many more…but there has been so much that has happened and who knows, I may remember some more and keep adding to this post over the next few days!

So…it’s over to you. Any blogger can have a go at this one if they fancy reflecting back on the year that was 2013.

Thank you to @kateonthinice for tagging me in! And for all of her tremendous support xx

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